Father's Day

Today is Father's Day.  My father has long since passed on.  One of the last Father's Days when he was alive I made him a cheese souffle.  I was pretty good at making them back then, but it was still quite a bit of work and some fingers crossed.  I had big brown eggs from my own hens and selected the very best cheddar cheese cut from a huge wheel at the local creamery.  This time it came out of the oven puffed and golden, filling the kitchen with the fragrance of very good cheddar.

When I set it before him on the dining room table he was pleased.  He cut a large piece and placing it on his plate, he asked for the ketchup!   YUP - he covered my gorgeous delicate creation with ketchup.  I told him I would never make him another--and I never did.

It is strange not having parents any more.  How many times I think "I have to remember to ask Dad about that".  Dad and I did not always agree on things.  We argued quite a bit when I was a teen.  Maybe that is normal.  Still whenever I had to make a big decision in my life, I asked Dad.  Seldom took his advice, but I always asked.  So just as the pastor said at Dad's memorial service, he left a big hole in my life.  Now I can laugh at the things that made me angry with him at the time.  I can understand why he did some of the things he did.  

My Dad was a good man.  He was "old school" which was the main source of disagreements as I was a young woman wanting to do the things boys were allowed to do and have the career that was then something only men did and he rigidly opposed.  He was honest, hard working and a good father.  I can see that now.

But I do wonder who I might have become if he had seen things differently --i.e.--my way.